


And That's Okay

by LemonFlavoredCandy



Category: Vast Error
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Out of Character, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonFlavoredCandy/pseuds/LemonFlavoredCandy
Summary: Murrit and Laivan have a heart to heart at the beach, a home Murrit never had.
Relationships: Murrit Turkin & Laivan Ferroo
Kudos: 10





	And That's Okay

The beach wasn’t exactly the best place to be in, ever. The chemical smell would hurt the noses and the tower of scrap always threatened to fall at any given notice. It just wasn’t a place for any troll in their right mind to be in, but Murrit wasn’t exactly in a sound mind. Not with the game afoot. 

He could just chalk his dependence to the sea as him being a seadweller; his real home had always been in the deep waters below but with what had happened to it sweeps before he was born, he couldn’t go back to it. Not that he had the choice of the chance to. Perhaps it was instinct that he was there or perhaps this was a place people went to, to be alone. Murrit didn’t know which one he was but at that point, he didn’t really seem to care to choose which one he wanted. 

The sounds of waves crashing to the shore invoked a sense of calm in him, one that was gradually pushing the feeling of fear that formed in his stomach, he was scared. He had always been the moment he was chosen. The day he woke up in a world he didn’t know about, the cold pit at the bottom of his stomach had always been there and there was never a day that it would make its presence known to him, gurgling and spreading the cold through his body. 

He remembers the deep purples and blacks of the world in his dreams, the carapacians with black skin that stared at him when he walked the streets and the moment he was picked off and was put in shackles. He remembers feeling eyes boring into him, the feeling of knives close to his skin. He remembered the times he was forced to hide, forced to play.

He remembered the times his stomach felt cold with each wound, each attempt at death brought to him.

He embraced that practice for a while, relished it even, but that did birth many habits in him that he wished to never have. One of which was something he did when he felt uncertain, touching his stomach. It became a somewhat regular irregularity that occurred in his dreams where he would get stabbed but never die, kicked but got up quickly, hurt but healed. He was a god in the realm but at the same time, he was always the walking target.

But even then, that was the silver lining to him. Since he never died, he always finished what was told of him. Because he was captured, he was taught to be the way he is but because he was the way he was, he met Dismas. But that experience was a whole different story, a whole different feeling of fear.

“Hey.” 

Laivan is a good person, he really is. His calm but very boring nature was nice company to have and he was chill. He and Murrit had been friends and partners for a long time, he trusted him. 

“Hey. How d’you get here? Your hive ain’t that close to the depths.” 

“I walked.” Laivan sat next to him, slightly panting. “I took a few breaks before I got here."

"Maybe too much breaks but that’s normal.”

There was a laugh, Murrit hanging his head between his bent knees. “You didn’t have to do that, man. You coulda just shot me a message or something. It’s not like wifi is a problem now.” 

“Yeah, but, I think you need some company. Especially now.” The breeze over the beach was cool and the sun was setting over the horizon, the familiar dark blue of night bleeding into the sky with the two moons over head glowing. “The game is going to start soon.” Laivan continued, leaning back against the rock formation behind him. The little cave Murrit chose to hide in was comfy, a nice space to just get away from it all. 

A nice place to hide. 

“After this, the world is going to be really different now.” 

His thoughts went back to Dismas, the way his arm looked, the way his lusus was, and grimaced with a sound of discomfort. Up until then, he had always thought that his feelings were pitch. They were kismesis, they were bonded. “Yeah,” the seadweller replied back. “Days like this won’t be a thing for a long time.” But then, his heart said otherwise. The pitch feeling in his chest morphed to one of another form of love, a bright red. Up until then, he had never experienced what love was really like and that scared him.

If he were to tell Dismas what he felt now…Would Dismas look at him the same way? 

Would he even stay by his side after it?

A hand to his stomach, Murrit squeezed his hand against his skin. He loved Dismas too much to lose him, he had to keep it down and to continue this charade even more. 

“You still have it with you, right? The necklace?” He asked, choosing to deflect the subject.

“I do.” From beneath the hoodie he wore, Laivan produced the necklace gifted to him by White Noise, the man who woke both of them up, the one who told them of the destiny they held on their shoulders as the keepers and time and space. The green sun pendant shined a lime green color against their gray skin. 

Ellsee Raines was an enigma to them, to Murrit she was a threat and Laivan she was a potential friend. 

“Why don’t you like her?” Laivan asked, letting Murrit touch the pendant. “She’s nice if you get to know her.”

“If you saw what I saw that day,” He closed his eyes, gripping the pendant tightly to the point it shook. “You wouldn’t think the way you did.” He set it on the sand and leaned back against the rocky cave. He couldn’t describe what he saw that day. The familiar icey feeling of fear and the cold rush of panic engulfed him and threatened to swallow him whole as he watched Ellsee perform what only could be described as impossible.

From that day on, he couldn’t shake the fact that Ellsee was a potential threat. Not even when Laivan and she conversed. She was too dangerous, too risky to be with. 

Laivan stared at the pendant then to Murrit, his partner and, at times, his confidant. The two of them were working buddies at this point but that didn’t mean that the reality of being friends wasn’t incapable. With all their time together, the blueblood noticed a lot of things about him. How he reacts when extremely happy or how he speaks when there was something on his mind or when there was something that scared to the point of freezing in place.

Everyone wore a mask, even Laivan himself wore one, but Murrit’s was the most obvious one. 

“Is there something on your mind?”

The aura around Murrit changes quickly, his eyes would become half lidded and soon the shades came off. Without it, he looked more open, more vulnerable. It wasn’t everyday he got to see it but when he did, he knew better than to comment on it. The way his emotions shined in his eyes.

“I’m scared.” 

Murrit held his stomach again, his hand balling tighter against his skin. “We’ve prepared for sweeps, trained the others for this, and even pushed them.” He closes his eyes, lips tightening to a nearly straight line. “But no matter what we do, I can’t help but—I just,”

Laivan’s hand was on his shoulder, rubbing his shirt and keeping his grounded. 

“I don’t want to lose anyone.”

“They’re capable of protecting themselves, you know that.”

There was a sniffle and Murrit quickly covered his eyes with his palm, sighing in stress. “I know but—Look, you didn’t have to see what I did and I’m happy you didn’t,” He pulled his hand away to look at Laivan with fatigues eyes and brows furrowed into an angry expression. Frustration. “…You wouldn’t understand. Your dreamworld and mine are different.”

There was a tinge of guilt, a touch of empathy. He and Murrit experience different things in the dreamworlds, while both of them were alone and waiting for their friends to wake up the both of them experience so many different things.

“I’m probably the only one who can.”

But that didn’t matter to him, Murrit is his friend. 

There was silence between them, a stale mate. Murrit’s hand was still on his stomach, the fabric of his shirt was crumpled under his fist. “…I know you’re scared because I am too.” His breathing was short, shorter than normal. “This game will change our lives no matter what we do.” Laivan looked up at Murrit again while he was still looking away. “And I know that White Noise never promised us that all of us will make it through,” 

“Even I don’t know if I’ll make it through.” 

The seadweller’s shoulders were tense but Laivan continued on.

“I know you’re scared.” He took the pendant in his hands, his eyes staring into the green sun like a trance.

“Because I’m scared too.”

He was still silent but Laivan continued, he knew Murrit was still listening.

“One way or another, we’re not unaccustomed to going into things scared.”

He remembers the day he met his matesprit, Serpaz, the day he took away her chance to walk normally for the rest of her life. She was mad at him, furious, and rightfully so. There wasn’t a day that went by when a terror gripped his heart, when there was a hot flash of guilt that made him want to burst, to explode it place. Though, things have settled and two have reconciles and even experience the red love that ultimately bonded them together the hot flash of guilt, of terror stayed in his heart. 

He fears the day that the thoughts that fuel that heat would come to fruition, that Serpaz’s anger for him still remains in the deepest pit of her being and that one day, the love both of them have would fade. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“But it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing to be.”

“If that makes any sense.”

Murrit did not turn to him even at that and Laivan knew there wasn’t anything that would go through to him. Not like this. He pushed himself up, patting the sand off her cargo pants. “You need to get some rest.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Just as he put the pendant back on, Murrit shifted to look up at him. “Do you think we’ll survive this?”

Laivan shrugs his shoulders with a huff. “I can only hope. Our friends are really strong people.”

“They can handle anything that gets thrown their way.”

“Just believe in them, okay?”

Murrit put on his glasses. “I should get going.” He said, pushing himself off the stand. “I got some Intel to look into.” Laivan nods his head and walked with him away from the beach, away from the home he never knew. 

“Hey, Laivan.”

“Hm?”

“Thanks.”

The fear and terror still gripped their hearts, never relinquishing its tight grip from their beings. And that was okay, they walked together even with the inevitability of worst to come. And that was okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback in appreciated!


End file.
